This morning ritual takes about two minutes: write down three concrete things you look forward to that day. I call the exercise Prompts of Joy. It directs your attention towards small, likely moments that can bring pleasure to your day.
Emotional regulation is an important relationship skill. The more readily you can influence your inner state, the more calm, curiosity and friendly options you can bring into encounters. Prompts of Joy offer a simple way to direct your attention towards resources, anticipation and connection at the beginning of the day.
Prompts of Joy in three steps
- Take a pen and a piece of paper in the morning.
- Ask yourself: “Which three things am I looking forward to today?”
- Write down three specific answers and take a moment to feel the anticipation.
I spent a long time considering how I could make everyday life more resourceful, adventurous, sensual and joyful. This simple question helps me personally because it directs attention towards what is genuinely available today.
Small pleasures work particularly well
Choose experiences that are very likely to happen: your first quiet coffee, a lovely lunch, a hug, a good conversation, a walk or a chapter of a book. The more specific you are, the easier it is to recognise the moment later.
“A good day” is broad. “The first five minutes on the balcony with my tea” gives your attention a clear destination. When the moment arrives, it is almost as though you meet the morning version of yourself who was already looking forward to it.
What the exercise practises
Anticipation is already a pleasant experience. In experimental research, anticipating positive events was associated with more positive emotion in the short term and a more favourable recovery after social stress. A small study of a similar “Looking Forward” prompt also found associations with improved well-being. These findings support elements of the practice; Prompts of Joy as a complete ritual remain my own everyday exercise.
Repeating an action in a stable context can make it increasingly familiar. Attach the ritual to something that already happens every morning, such as your first cup of tea, breakfast or opening your diary.
Anticipation, gratitude and daily planning
| Practice | Direction | Guiding question |
|---|---|---|
| Prompts of Joy | Anticipating today | What am I looking forward to today? |
| Gratitude | Appreciating what has happened | What enriched my life today? |
| Daily planning | Tasks and priorities | What would I like to complete today? |
The three practices can complement one another: plan what you wish to do, look forward to likely enjoyable moments and appreciate what genuinely went well at the end of the day.
A 30-day experiment
Put your pen and paper in place the night before and set a morning reminder. Try Prompts of Joy for 30 days, then write one sentence at the end of each week: what am I noticing more readily now? Thirty days is simply a manageable personal trial. The time it takes to form a habit varies greatly between people.
To explore this way of directing attention further, try the more extensive resource exercise in “Energy Flows Where Attention Goes”. I share the underlying ideas and personal experiences in more detail in podcast episode 3, “Energy Flows Where Attention Goes”, which is available in German. Couples can also turn the question into a shared morning prompt: “What are we looking forward to together today?”
Sources
- Adair, Kennedy & Sexton (2020): Positively reflecting backwards and forwards
- Monfort, Stroup & Waugh (2015): The impact of anticipating positive events on responses to stress
- Mazzucchelli, Kane & Rees (2010): Behavioural activation interventions for well-being — a meta-analysis
- Lally et al. (2010): Habit formation in everyday life